From The Austin Post, a venue of which I was previously unaware, comes ridiculously awesome bacon sculptures. Come for the full mech suit and the AK-47, stay for Patrick Bateman’s business card.
Archive for the ‘weird’ Category
Ridiculously Awesome Bacon Sculptures
Tuesday, August 21st, 2012Who better to throw out the first pitch than a horrifying, vengeful ghost?
Sunday, April 29th, 2012Oh Japan, don’t ever change.
But there’s no reason this idea can’t succeed in the U.S. Why not have Freddy Kruger, Leatherface, Jason or Pinhead throw out the first pitch? Granted, this still wouldn’t be enough to get me to watch baseball…
In related news: Hello Kitty Ringu products.
Another Emanation of the Giant Weirdness Magnet
Friday, March 23rd, 2012Call me cynical, but I think the appearance of a 30-foot high golem trudging along a freeway would attract plenty more attention than a single letter to a website serving the Weirdo American community.
Even in Florida.
Movies Howard and I Will Review: Iron Sky
Monday, February 13th, 2012Assuming it comes to Austin sometime in 2012 (answer cloudy; ask again later), Howard Waldrop and I will be reviewing Iron Sky, AKA Attack of the Space Nazis. Here we have not one, not two, but three teaser trailers, arranged from oldest to newest.
I’m hoping Iron Sky (which seems to have been made with a great deal of crowd-source funding) will be good, silly fun, as well as an amusing poke at the whole Nazi saucer mythos.
Worst. Webpage. Ever.
Tuesday, January 24th, 2012Oh. My. God.
Someone saved Bello De Soto’s wesbite for posterity.
Who is Bello De Soto, you ask? Oh, nobody important, except for the fact that she designed the worst website in the history of the world. It’s like the The Star Wars Holiday special of web design; you can’t understand just how bad it is until you’ve experienced it.
I had a friend who tried to load this on Safari, and it crashed so hard he needed to reboot his iPhone. (Loading it in Firefox seems to create no harmful effects, other than aesthetically. Then again, I have enough memory to load the 503 MB of horror without problems.)
Here’s a big ass picture of that page, and here’s a video of someone from Web Pages That Suck loading the page.
The original website is no longer up, presumably because web designers carrying pitchforks and torches destroyed the evil laboratory in which it was created…
Llamas With Hats
Sunday, December 11th, 2011Maybe I’m easily amused, but something about the absurd, over-the-top, off-screen violence tickled my funny bone. Given that each of these have more than a million hits, once again I may be a wee bit behind the curve.
“That’s what forgiveness sounds like. Screaming, and then silence.”
“I should probably mention that I filled our luggage with orphan meat.”
Halloween Scares: Black Eyed Kids
Wednesday, October 26th, 2011So, vampires are so last year, and scary bunnies and goatmen don’t do it for you? Are you looking for a new urban legend to unnecessarily scare yourself silly with for the Halloween season?
How about Black Eyed Kids?
No, it’s not The Black Eyed Peas: The Next Generation (which would, let’s face it, be scary enough on its own). It’s kids/teenagers with all black eyes, with no iris or whites, asking to be let into your car or house, and whose mere presence instantly fills you with terror and dread.
However, unlike most creepy pasta and/or urban legends, this one actually has an identifiable origin, namely Abilene reporter Brian Bethel, who related his encounter thusly with two of them asking for a ride:
“C’mon, mister. Let us in. We can’t get in your car until you do, you know,” the spokesman said soothingly. “Just let us in, and we’ll be gone before you know it. We’ll go to our mother’s house.”
We locked eyes.
To my horror, I realized my hand had strayed toward the door lock (which was engaged) and was in the process of opening it. I pulled it away, probably a bit too violently. But it did force me to look away from the children.
I turned back. “Er … Um …,” I offered weakly and then my mind snapped into sharp focus.
For the first time, I noticed their eyes.
They were coal black. No pupil. No iris. Just two staring orbs reflecting the red and white light of the marquee.
Creepy enough for you? The fact that Mr. Bethel posted this to a “ghost-discuss” list, and that he had previously described a childhood encounter with evil muppets, might make you take his story with a grain of salt.
However, since that original sighting (which predates the black-eyed kid shown in the Japanese horror film Ju-on (The Grudge)) there
For extra grins, here’s the black eyed kids/alien abduction cross-over theory.
Now you’ll have to excuse me. There’s someone knocking on my door…
Scary Halloween Videos: Abandoned Insane Asylums
Tuesday, October 25th, 2011I’ve been looking for some scary videos on YouTube, and honestly, the most popular “paranormal” videos there are pretty embarrassingly lame. “Ah! A guy in eyeshadow steps out of the dark! It’s a ghost!”
Much creepier, to my mind, are the video of abandoned mental hospitals and insane asylums filmed by various urban spelunkers over the years. Most were pretty depressing places in the first place, so they’re doubly creepy and depressing at night compared to regular abandoned buildings. Here’s a sampler of a few videos I found.
A short video of an abandoned insane asylum in Maryland:
A longer video from the same asylum, with some paranormal creepiness near the end:
From Albuquerque’s abandoned insane asylum, seen in daylight:
The videos I’ve seen from San Antonio’s abandoned asylum have all been either crappy or still images, but this one from the abandoned Boys Home isn’t bad, though too long and also in daylight:
This appears to be the segment of a TV show called Scariest Places on Earth on Dixmont Insane Asylum in Pennsylvania. Full of both horrific history and cheestastic reality TV edited to hype the paranormal angle. Evidently being on a paranormal reality TV show requires subnormal intelligence. And voiceovers from the psychic in Poltergeist? Really, ABC Family?
Warning: Teenagers. Fortunately this bunch exploring the Downey Insane Asylum in California are merely teenage stupid and not reality show stupid (though sadly, this does extend to their editing choices). And the night vision lens does make their eyes look nicely creepy.
A different approach, for this mini-documentary on the Northville Regional Psychiatric Hospital in Michigan:
Here’s another longer video:
Seems like there’s a lot of videos on the place.
I wonder how many places there are like this abandoned in Michigan. Probably lots.
Finally, this abandoned church and school In Gary, Indiana is more sad than scary:
I may have to do a separate post on abandoned theme parks…
A Nice, Spooky Haunted Building Story
Saturday, October 22nd, 2011Humper Monkey’s Ghost Story has just about everything you could ask for in a haunted building story. Inexplicable occurrences, dead bodies, a Nazi past, and lots of general creepiness. Oh, and it’s theoretically true. It seems to have originally been posted on Something Awful.
Be forewarned that it’s really long; plan to set aside an hour or two if you want to read the whole thing, as it’s easily novella length.
And, if that weren’t enough, there seems to be more to the story here. It gets a bit less subtle.
I also hope Humper-Monkey gets a cut of this, and it’s not just somebody ripping him off.