Two Michael Swanwick books:
Copies of both of these will be available in the new Lame Excuse Books catalog I’m sending out on Monday.
Posts Tagged ‘Christmas’
Library Additions: Two Signed Michael Swanwick Books
Monday, December 5th, 2016This Might Get Your Goat
Monday, December 21st, 2015I blame Dwight.
Evidently there’s a Swedish charity that’s trying to raise goat awareness or some damn thing, and to do so they’ve released a Christmas album.
Sung by goats.
And by “sung,” I mean “torturing you ears.”
Yes, it’s Jingle Cats with goats. If you’re in dire need of finding a way to make guests leave at the end of a Christmas party, I think this will provide the answer…
Merry Christmas!
Wednesday, December 25th, 2013To celebrate Christmas, here’s The Dropkick Murphys with “The Season’s Upon Us.”
Godzilla Christmas Tree
Tuesday, December 25th, 2012The search for the coolest Christmas tree is officially over. You’re never going to beat the giant, fire-breathing Godzilla Christmas tree of Aqua City Odaiba shopping mall in Tokyo.
Merry Christmas!
Rare Exports: A Weird Christmas Horror Movie
Monday, December 24th, 2012In his tomb in upthrust Lapland
Dead Kris Kringle lies dreaming
If you’re looking for a weird Christmas horror movie, you could do a lot worse than the Finnish movie Rare Exports. The son of a reindeer herder/butcher finds out that a team just over the border in Russia are drilling into a mountain they believe to be a tomb.
It quickly becomes apparent that the tomb is that of Santa Claus. And the real Santa Claus is not the jolly fellow of Coke commercials, but a fearsome punisher of the wicked that looks a lot more like Krampus:
What makes the film work is its cold, gritty, unsentimental realism. It really does look like it was filmed in a tiny village in Ass End of Nowhere, Finland. Save an unconvincing CGI helicopter at the end, and the strange coda that gives the film its name, I thought everything about the movie worked pretty well. Of recent Scandinavian horror films, I thought this worked better than Dead Snow, but not as good as Let the Right One In.
Worth viewing, and available on Netflix.
I was going to do a longer review, but I’m running out of Christmas.
A Christmas Story, in 30 Seconds, With Bunnies
Saturday, December 24th, 2011Pretty much self-explanatory.
Thanks, Angry Alien!
And a Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!
Austin: Christmas on 37th Street
Thursday, December 22nd, 2011It’s that time of year. If you haven’t been to the Austin’s 37th Street display of lights, this video from illustrator Doug Potter gives you an idea of what it’s like.
Merry Christmas!
Nine Nich Noels
Thursday, December 1st, 2011And now that it’s December, enjoy the songs of Nine Inch Nails set to traditional Christmas music.
And as long as we’re on that topic, here’s Bad Kermit’s rendition of “Hurt.”
And here’s a mashup of Nine Inch Nails and The Beatles on “Come Closer Together.”
NSFW warnings apply to all.
He’s Mister Heat Miser
Wednesday, February 23rd, 2011If you’re of a certain age, you probably remember the Rankin Bass production of A Year Without a Santa Claus. Like all the other warhorse Christmas specials of my youth, it got trotted out pretty much every year.
All the works of Rankin Bass are hard to evaluate separate from the nostalgia factor they invoked. On a level of technical proficiency, they weren’t particularly proficient. At it’s very best, their animation was of the quality of Hanna-Barbera, which is to say it sucked, and their stop motion work was more stop than motion. (I have not seen their animated film version of Peter S. Beagle’s The Last Unicorn, which I am given to understand is better.)
For an example of both good and bad, take a look at the classic “Snow Miser/Heat Miser” songs from A Year Without a Santa Claus:
I don’t think the lyrics of that songs are going to be taught in songwriting classes (it takes a special type of lyricist to rhyme “degrees” with “degrees”), but damned if that song doesn’t stick in your head. Go up to just about anyone from my generation and sing “He’s Mr. Heat Miser,” and you’re virtually guaranteed to have them sing back “He’s Mr. Sun.” (Who was it that said “Memory is a crazy beggar woman that hordes bright bits of tinfoil and throws away food”?)
Whatever their flaws, Rankin Bass productions usually had a few bits of cleverness and interest scattered throughout.
The same can not necessarily be said of the cheap spinoffs done of their work. Did you know that they did a live action remake of A Year Without a Santa Claus? If you think to yourself, “Wow, that sounds like a really, really bad idea,” you’re not the only one.
As proof, take a look at this:
Well, Snow Miser can certainly sing, and Heat Miser…uh, goes a long way toward making Snow Miser’s singing sound that much better.
And this…this is Just. Freaking. WRONG:
It’s like if Ralphie from A Christmas Story came back at age 35 to do an infomercial for winterizing your home. Yes, it’s from the sequel to the original A Year Without a Santa Claus, A Miser Brothers Christmas, and, if this clip is any indication, it looks to be as fondly remembered as The Christmas That Totally Ruled and KISS Saves Santa.
Stop. Just stop.
I leave you with one other Rankin Bass piece of music, the high point of their otherwise-not-even-remotely-fondly-remembered version of The Return of the King:
Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous Tasteless Drug Lords
Saturday, December 25th, 2010
You may remember this post I did on the tasteless opulence of Latin American drug lords.
Well, gold-plated automatics are one thing, but a giant painted mural of Justin Bieber is quite another. Brazilian drug lord Pezao, step up and claim your prize as Most Tasteless Drug Lord for 2010.
(Hat tip: Dwight.)
And on that note, Merry Christmas to one and all!