Posts Tagged ‘crime’

Movie Review: Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead

Tuesday, December 7th, 2010

Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead
Director: Sidney Lumet
Writer: Kelly Masterson
Starring: Philip Seymour Hoffman, Ethan Hawke, Albert Finney, Marisa Tomei, Michael Shannon

This is a “heist gone wrong” film that had gotten lots of great reviews, including from some of my friends. And having seen it, I can see why; it’s extremely well-done. (You would hope the guy who directed Network would remember a thing or two about making movies.) But I’m not quite as enthusiastic about this film as others, mainly because it’s sort of like Fargo, but without the laughs or Marge Gunderson. It’s like being in a car at the top of steep, icy hill that almost immediately starts sliding. And pretty much the entire movie is the characters sliding down that hill, with the only question being exactly how bad the crash will be. And the answer, after nearly two hours of watching them squirm, screw up and go blood simple, is very bad indeed.

The action unfolds in non-linear fashion, following first one character and then another. We see the heist go wrong in the first 10 minutes of the film, but its only later that we understand just how wrong it went, and how the consequences from it just keep getting worse.

The performances are uniformly excellent, while the script is interesting without being engaging; Hoffman’s character is so unlikable, and Hawke’s character such a weak-willed pushover, that we regard them less with sympathy than critical detachment. The direction is solid, but many scenes could have been edited; Lumet likes to watch his characters flail and squirm a bit too much, and this film could have easily been 10-15 minutes shorter and have more impact.

Whether you’ll enjoy watching it depends on how much you like watching that long, agonizing slide down the icy hill. And Marisa Tomei is still quite lovely (and, here, frequently undressed). But many viewers will find it an uncomfortable ride.

Public Service Announcement

Monday, December 6th, 2010

Just for the record, I would like to note that I am not a 53-year old homeless Florida would-be bank robber. I am also distinctly paler of hue.

Also, while I have never robbed a bank in the past, and have no plans to knock over a bank in the future, I assure you that if I did, I wouldn’t be stupid enough to attempt it unarmed. After all, as Al Capone once noted: “You can get further with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.”

“I find your lack of cash disturbing. Put the money in the bag or get Force-choked!”

Saturday, July 24th, 2010

Darth Vader robs a bank on Long island.

Now we know the real reason George Lucas banned David Prowse from Star Wars conventions

Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous Drug Lords

Saturday, June 12th, 2010

Here are some pretty interesting pictures from a bust at a Mexican drug lord’s house. The giant piles of cash and the tacky gold-plated guns are pretty much par for the course, but the rest of the house is, believe it or not, more tasteful and restrained than the average drug lord lair. But the non-gold plated arsenal starts out at interesting, moves on to impressive, and ends up at “oh my God, he really could have equipped his own army.” (Though the pictures at the bottom are evidently from another bust.)

(Hat tip: Mike.)

Great Moments in American Forgery

Thursday, February 25th, 2010

From the “Old News is So Exciting” front, from half a century ago, here’s the story of Joseph Cosey, one of the greatest forgers in American History.

Cosey received an even greater tribute from the New York Public Library when, in 1934, with the dual purpose of educating the innocent and removing from circulation as many specimens of his work as possible, it set up, under Bergquist’s supervision, a special file known as the Cosey Collection, to which it has been adding ever since. Consisting principally of items the library has been able to prevail upon Cosey’s dopes to donate, the Collection now comprises seventy-eight documents—thirty-one Lincolns, eight Poes, five Franklins, five David Rittenhouses, four Mary Baker Eddys, four George Washingtons, two Edwin M. Stantons, two Thomas Jeffersons, two John Marshalls, two James Madisons, one John Adams, one Samuel Adams, one Button Gwinnett, one Lyman Hall, one Benjamin Rush, one Richard Henry Lee, one Patrick Henry, one Alexander Hamilton, one Walt Whitman, one Mark Twain, one Sir Francis Bacon, one Earl of Essex, and one Rudyard Kipling, the last three being rather unusual examples, since Cosey made few excursions into the foreign field. Bergquist started the Cosey Collection with two specimens he had more or less confiscated from the forger himself —a Lincoln legal petition and a draft of some notes Poe wrote in connection with “Tamerlane.” The latest additions—two Franklin pay warrants, probably copied from the one Cosey stole—were contributed in 1954 by Arthur Swann, a vice-president of Parke-Bernet, who weeded them out, with the owner’s approval, from a group of autographs the galleries were about to auction off. Although speculation is almost meaningless in such matters, one well-informed collector has ventured to guess that if its contents were genuine, the Cosey Collection would be worth about a hundred thousand dollars.

The issue is of particular interest to me because the anonymous nature of the Internet and venues like eBay have given rise to a boom in modern forgery. Though concentrated in sports memorabilia, there have been some notable recent cases in the book trade as well. This is why I won’t buy a Robert A. Heinlein or Philip K. Dick signature without provenance. (I currently have no signed Philip K. Dick and only a single signed Heinlein (an inscribed book club edition I bought from David Hartwell). There is a also certain online seller (whom we shall refer to as F_________) that my friends and colleagues are reasonably sure makes his living selling forged signatures (though mixed in with real ones, just to keep people guessing).

As always, caveat emptor.

Frank Frazetta attempts to steal paintings by Frank Frazetta

Thursday, December 10th, 2009

It’s not every day you read about an attempted $20 million art heist, much less from the museum dedicated to the works of famous fantasy artist Frank Frazetta. However, the real kicker is that the perp (or, technically speaking, “alleged” perp) is Frank Frazetta’s own son.

The main tool of theft seems to be a backhoe rather than a broadsword.

(Hat tip: John DeNardo of SF Signal.)

Protip: Drive-bys

Wednesday, November 11th, 2009

If you’re going to conduct a drive-by shooting, roll down the window first.

It didn’t take Sherlock Holmes to crack this case…

(Hat tip: Bill Crider. )