Evidently I’ve been posting here for ten years, since my first post is dated October 12, 2009. Going back over those early posts, I’m struck by just how many of the links are dead. Also, I used to blog more about sports, which I largely stopped doing because there are a ton of other places that cover it, and I seldom have time to watch sports anymore.
My very first “library addition” post doesn’t show up until November 15 of the same year…
I dreamed I was in the process of buying a bank. One customer I knew was telling me she was going to sue me, even though I didn’t even own the bank yet. I think she was doing it out of spite.
Then I was riding in a car with someone I think wanted to sell some sort of service to my bank. While we drove I was worried about what level of fractional reserve the bank should have in these tough economic times. (Yes, I dreamt about fractional reserve banking; I’m just a wild and crazy guy). But then the guy driving drove up and over an unfinished overpass, despite my warning, and we landed with a crash in a closed Target parking lot at night.
I was walking along after that, and I had to go into a convenience store to use the bathroom (yes, one of those dreams), but I was worried my dog would run off while I was inside.
Inside it was more like a hotel or bank lobby, and when I went into the restroom, it was some sort of cave (more like a video game cave than a real one).
For some reason, Michael Jackson was holding a ridiculously long antique wooden rifle on me, something like 15-20 feet long, saying he wanted to die as a woman and as a defender of the Alamo. (I guess he was channeling Phil Collins here.)
The gun was so close to my face that I swept the barrel aside with my left hand while I pulled my own gun out of my pocket with my right. But I couldn’t fire it because there was a beef jerky packet stuck to it that prevented operating the trigger.
Meanwhile, Michael Jackson had turned into a friend of mine, and not only was the rifle he holding normal sized, but it turned out to be made of beef jerky packets connected together in the shape of a gun as well.
Then I woke up.
Not a lot of news on the personal blogging front, so I’ll put down last night’s dream. which was interesting not only for multiple dreamed disasters, but also because I remembered long stretches and multiple scenes of it.
First I dreamed my family and I were all living in a spacious glass-walled condo (we never lived in any type of condo), when three assault helicopters surrounded the building. Since they were flying at exactly our level, we came to the conclusion they were spying on us and closed all the drapes/blinds. We also worried they were eavesdropping on us, or had tapped our (landline) phones, so we went out for Chinese food.
At the Chinese restaurant, we hadn’t even been seated when I noticed a tornado off in the distance, shouted to alert the restaurant of this fact, then made my way to an inner corner to duck and cover. I remember that corner seemed unused and trash-strewn. (I dream semi-regularly about tornadoes, though thankfully I’ve never seen one in person.)
Later I was walking toward downtown Austin, when I looked up and saw debris floating in the air, and realized a large bomb had gone off. Troops were coming in on one of those large street overpasses Austin doesn’t have, and I quickly turned and walked the other direction for fear of being blamed for the bomb. (I put this down to watching videos of the situation in Ukraine.)
Next I was in a building and realized that the political elites had all left earth for another planet, that the infrastructure on this one was starting to fail, and two women were there for vaguely menacing reasons, trying to get me to go somewhere. I tried to convince them that the situation was a great reason to have sex, but they weren’t buying it. I also remember speaking at a meeting/rally on the problem, where I was trying to work the word “sabotage” into the description of the problem, so I could then introduce the Beastie Boys and get them to play that.
Finally, I remember driving up to a beach house in my uncle’s car, driving into the garage, then through a second space, an finally into a third space that opened out into three separate parking spaces lobes, each on a sort of upward slope. I remember thinking it was a lot of space for a garage, and worrying since his car had no reverse. But once inside it was some sort of townhouse and wasn’t on the beach, where I was waiting with other people for friends to show up. Then I had the usual “I’m naked” moment, but I wasn’t sure whether it was time yet to go out to my car and get my clothes.
Then I woke up
I had a dream the other night where I was late for my boxing debut.
The boxing arena seemed to be on the edge of a large shopping mall, and I had to ask directions to find it. I heard my name announced as the next fighter as I was entering the building, but I couldn’t seem to find my way down to what was presumably the ring (which I never came in sight of). It was less like Spinal Tap being lost backstage than the building being larger, older and more Gothic than I expected. At one point I saw some sort of rickety, extensible cherry picker/dunking stool/extending bridge contraption, which looked like it might deposit me over a wall where I needed to go, but looked too dangerous to try. Also, I noticed I wasn’t wearing shoes, which I was pretty sure was a breach of boxing rules.
I woke up before I ever got to the ring.
Actual discussion with female co-worker:
Her: It’s so cold!
Me: (Looking at handy digital thermostat above my desk) It’s a balmy 73.4 degrees.
Her: I keep my apartment at 79.
Me: There’s just no pleasing those of you who hail from the realms of Tartarus.
Today I was at Dwight’s graduation party, and thanks to Dwight’s sister’s son’s wood-working project, and Andrew’s camera, I now have The Most Awesome Fark Profile Image Ever:
That’s Mr TrollFace to you, pinko.
I’m getting ready to purchase a new HDTV. (In fact, this will be the first television I’ve actually bought, as opposed to being a hand-me-down. From this you may correctly infer that I’m a cheapass tightwad very frugal. I’m also not a bleeding edge consumer, and have a very high saving throw vs. shiny.) So I thought I should vacuum before I got the new TV. But before I could vacuum I needed to put up some of the odds and ends that had accumulated in the room, such as CDs, DVDs, equipment boxes, etc. But before I could do that, I needed to move some things around in the guest room so I could move some things in there. But before I could do that, I needed to box up some old computer equipment. But before I could do that…
Anyway, it was like the punchline to a Dilbert strip: Thanks to proper ordering, I almost vacuumed something. The curse of the semi-clean and semi-organized…
Or, as the media would put it:
SNOWPOCALYPSE 2010!
It’s been coming down for a couple of hours. I’ll put up some pics this evening.
Updated: Some pics.
The subject of Epic Beard Man came up at the Saturday Dining Conspiracy. So, if you haven’t seen it already, here’s the original (NSFW) Epic Beard Man fight:
(And here’s the full sound version and transcript (again, NSFW).)
And here is, almost inevitably, Hitler’s reaction to Epic Beard Man’s fight. (Linked because the aspect ratio is too large for the WordPress theme.)
Wait, did I just link a video that combined a new viral Internet meme with yet another viral Internet meme?
Yes. Yes I did.
I think you’ll just have to come to grips with the possibility that I am, in fact, just plain evil.
Amber Lamps.
Tempting, but at $45 is much too expensive for a climate as typically balmy as Texas. (At least most years. This year it’s been freaking cold…)