Random Thoughts on the Naming of a New Pope

Because I wasn’t really in a position to post them to Twitter when Argentine Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio was named Pope Francis:

  • “Before we name a new pope, here’s a performance by the Solid Pope Dancers.”
  • I can hardly wait to see if my 1000-1 longshot bet of Father Guido Sarducci being named #pope pays off!
  • The Pope would have made it to the balcony earlier but he got lost and had to ask a janitor for directions.
  • In an unexpected twist, Ralph Nader has been named pope. Al Gore demands a recount.
  • In a shocking development, Bootsy Collins has been named pope. (One Church Under A Groove)
  • John Shaftman named pope. Who’s the Black Pontiff who’s the sex machine for all the chicks? POPE SHAFT!
  • It turns out that John Paul II is still pope, and the last nine years has all been a dream sequence.
  • LeBron James named pope. “I’m taking my talents to Vatican City.” Grave blow to Miami Heat’s repeat chances.
  • Like Republicans, Catholics evidently like to elect the guy who came in second last time.
  • “There’s a light…over at the Vatican place…”
  • “Don’t cry for me Vatican City.”
  • A Jesuit Pope? Dan Brown must be racing to his computer right now.
  • On the non-snarky side, here’s a video of Pope Francis making his first appearance:

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